What strikes me is how well hidden doors are in my mind – doors that an insightful and skilled tutor can unveil so easily.

This report is a mirror revealing something to me about myself.  What have I realised?

Cheryl has immediately picked up on what I thought was a sub-conscious or dormant interest in the gothic.  I am suddenly faced with the possibility that I should be remembering to engage/embrace all parts of myself, all interests, all hidden corners when I approach my artistic practice.

When I look at the artists Cheryl suggests, I am excited, inspired – she has recognised something in me that I wasn’t even aware I could bring to my practice myself.  How did that happen?  The gothic and macabre is a huge part of who I am – from my childhood fantasy about being the wife of the prince of darkness on one of my top trumps cards, to my interest in the occult, in paganism, in witchcraft…the darker the better – for me it is a celebration of something ancient – it is part of where we come from as humans and when we embrace this part of our nature we have the opportunity to normalise it and use it to enormous potential.  It is our rejection of the darkness in us that then creates false ideas about who we are, it creates delusions in our minds and that leads to dis-ease in our souls (a level I used to work on transforming with my patients in my  homeopathic practice).

So wow, this is a huge revelation to me.  For all my panic that I am beginning art too late in life I realise it is just the right time.  All my life experience and inner work that has gone on before has culminated in me arriving here just when I needed to.

Initial thoughts:-

  • Explore my own expression of ‘darkness’ in my sketchbook.  Particularly with reference to the ‘Ansel Krut: Exemplary Tales’ exhibition in 2000
  • Study the negative space and use of colour in Roxy Walsh’s work.  There is a translucence and iridescence that I would like to emulate.  The darkness and challenging nature of her work still comes through without being ‘dark’ in colour.  Something again I would also like to work on
  • Practice working with translucent paint as suggested by Cheryl. Also to work smaller.  There is a power that I feel in creating something small – as though the message is potentised.  I almost feel I could produce something so intense that it can barely be looked at if I work small – need to try to do this with the minimum of marks so there is space for the intensity to come through.  TRY AND BUILD UP THE LAYERS LEAN AND SLOW!
  • Keep experimenting with the Angela Johnson project – try out the smaller images as Cheryl suggests, try different formats, different ways of painting.
  • experiment with monochrome/colour combos.
  • TRY SLOWER WORK!
  • Create a set of macabre top trumps cards as a group? Maybe even a set of Angela Johnson top trumps where I take the Facebook images into that arrangement – possibly for Assignment 2?
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